I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
