I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
The struggles of a small town man whore
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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