I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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