Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry blue_bl00d hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(250): View more from British Columbia

I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman

Fav 2 1058 1158
share tweet
(248): View more from Michigan

So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...

(703): View more from Virginia

oh

Fav 10 1157 3472
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(561): View more from Florida

You drink too much

(1-561): View more from Florida

No, I drink just the right amount - too often.

Fav 2 3292 913
share tweet
(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.

Fav 9 3918 1767
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.

Fav 3 1243 2664
share tweet
(931): View more from Tennessee

I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.

Fav 28 6462 5060
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(347): View more from New York

She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her

Fav 10 4884 1281
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(781): View more from Massachusetts

You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.

Fav 11 1837 829
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(314): View more from Missouri

I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.

Fav 2 36 51
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT