so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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