Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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