Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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