Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
