TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
