sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
