this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
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