I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You're earring is so big in my mouth
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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