Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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