I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
