Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
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