Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
