That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
