Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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