She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
