how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
