My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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