You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
