Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
