Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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