I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
His nipple licking is glorious
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