Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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