and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
