Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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