do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
