WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
