I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
