I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
