They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
