I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
