I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
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Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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