i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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