Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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