Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
