I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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