READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
