hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
