I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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