1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
