well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
