Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
