i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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