he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
