Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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