The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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