i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
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You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
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And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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