It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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