i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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