go do what you do best...puke behind churches
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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