she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
