Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
