If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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