i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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