um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
