You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
