my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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