you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We need to rekindle our bromance
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
