How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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