Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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