Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
